I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
