dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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