A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
