Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
