She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
