roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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