you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
birth control should be required to get into college
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
