The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't tell me you're on acid again
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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