wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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