Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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