I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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