hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
