Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
