i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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