At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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