From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
