Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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