Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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