I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
