i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
