i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
