I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
