my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
