me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
