The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
