Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
NoShamevember. You game?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
