Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
