Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
