I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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