Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
