I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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