Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
