If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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