you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
