This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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