my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
