we made out on top of his cat.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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