I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
