no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
