You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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