Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
