She's JV to your varsity
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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