I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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