would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
