i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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