What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
