I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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