FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She bit a glass in half.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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