I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
