Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
