Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
