hell yes lets make some ravioli
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
