Christians are straight up FREAKS
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
