Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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