I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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