well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
