Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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